By Nikki Gajoo Frielinghaus |

Last year, amidst the hustle of wrapping up, a determined client sought me out, insisting on a meeting before the year’s close. Her persistence paid off, and what unfolded was a journey deep into the roots of her financial behaviour and struggles, a story she’s graciously allowed me to share.

For years, she struggled with sticking to her financial goals, both short-term savings and long-term aspirations. She pointed fingers at financial planners, market fluctuations, the impact of COVID-19, and a myriad of other factors for her financial setbacks. However, within minutes of our conversation, it became evident that her challenges were rooted in her financial behaviour, prompting me to guide her through our core money process to unearth the underlying issues.

The Journey Through Money Memories

Our sessions revealed heartfelt childhood memories of her mother attempting to save money by concealing it in household items such as food jars, only for her efforts to be thwarted by an alcoholic stepfather. This early exposure to financial insecurity left a lasting imprint, driving her adult self into a cycle of “self-sabotage” despite earning a good income. Every month, like clockwork, unforeseen expenses would arise, depleting her savings.

Due to the marital regime that her mom was married in, she could not open a bank account or any type of savings account without her spouse being present. Her only way to save was the “jar method” or hiding money around the house.

Long Journey

Through the money coaching process, she recognized she was replaying her mother’s financial story, feeling “unsafe” with money, and subconsciously engineering financial crises to return to a familiar state of scarcity.

Identifying her active money archetypes was a breakthrough, helping her see how they hindered rather than helped her financial journey. We delved into subconscious money patterns and behaviours, equipping her with a customized toolbox for ongoing personal work, and providing a “safe space” to explore her financial thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.

The Universal Struggle with Financial Safety

Her story is far from unique. Many grapple with financial safety, a complex weave of childhood events and inherited beliefs from parents or caregivers. These subconscious patterns form a barrier to financial goals and security.

Financial safety and security are deeply intertwined, yet distinct. My client’s tale highlights the insecurity of having money, but there are countless other narratives of financial safety.

Reflecting on Your Money Story

Ask yourself:

• Have you ever felt financially unsafe?
• Are you unknowingly sabotaging your financial goals?

Be kind to yourself. This moment of realization is timely. Dedicate some quiet time to reflection and journaling, trusting your subconscious to unveil the answers you seek.

Embarking on Your Financial Healing Journey

If you’re ready to confront the root of your money problems and transform your financial story, I’m here to help. Contact me at [email protected], you can also view this article on Medium at: Medium Link

Embrace the journey towards financial freedom, security, and understanding your money archetype. Let’s unlock the patterns that hold you back, together.